Mixed race girl in a mixed up world
I am mixed race. I am 20 years old and yet this fact has only been brought to my attention in the last few years. Not literally of course - the clues were growing up with my black father and white mother, but life is full of different events, people and attitudes.
Daily encounters shape our experiences and even our way of thinking. For the first time in my life, race is becoming increasingly important to me. Some could even argue that I am making it an issue; one bigger than it needs be. But, to me, I've never had the chance to discuss it - I have always accepted life as it comes - Occasionally, with negative remarks. Now, I believe it's become important to me because everywhere I look: in the news, at university, at work - it is subtly being brought to my attention that I am different, and that is what causes me to worry about who I am.
More stop and search for young black youths, non white students are potentially eligible for a 'journalism and diversity' bursary when doing the M.A. course (because oh look - it reflects badly on an institution if there isn't proportional representation of this multicultural society we call home) and in my part time job, I had to reassure a woman that I was in education and I did have prospects and ambition.
One of my white girl-friends recently got married to a black South African in the summer, but I was informed that her parents held the view that "inter-racial marriages don't work." I don't understand where this view could come from - they know who I am, and know that my parents are happily married together, after 25 years.
Laura Smith's report in the Society Guardian (26.09.07) draws on data from the 2001 census, to note that more than half of mixed race families are together (55%) , contrasting to popular assumption - perhaps reinforced by Little Britain stereotypes.
I agree with the researchers of this study - (Rosalind Edwards, a professor in social policy at South Bank University, and Chamion Caballero) that opposition to mix race families are not internal, but it is: "people outside that tend to have an issue with it...once a child starts school or comes into contact with the community, people's attitudes can be negative."
It was a decade after leaving my primary school that I was told by my mother, that the school bully complained that I was there - even inviting their parents to a school meeting with the head mistress. I forgot to mention that I was brought up in the 'whitest county', Devon.
I'm not sure about you, but in my family, I was brought up to believe that I was no different to anyone else - you look at someone and you see a person, a living, breathing personality. I was brought up not to judge on the factor of skin colour. With this strong belief, I am disappointed to say that I don't think I was educated enough about my beautiful heritage. I do not know all my facts and where I come from.
This contributes to my next point, raised by Smith, in that with one white parent, mixed race people can often question their authenticity of being black. My doubts of who I am continue to this very day. I remember at Freshers' Fayre, I saw the African Caribbean Society stand, and was so confused as to whether they had a membership criteria, I questioned whether I was black enough to join. Needless to say I did, coupled with the high of October's Black History Month, but I later slipped by the wayside, when a guest speaker a room full of black people and me, that black people should only be with black people for purity's sake, and anything other than that was simply subordinate.
This spurred the beginning of my mid life identity crisis, which shall no doubt continue, with other tales including - a conversation between my black flatmate (a) our new black friend (b) and myself (c):
b) [to (a)] where do you come from then?
a)I have Bejan roots
b) oh. OK. and you? [to (c)]
c) my dad is Jamaican and my mum is from Devon
b) Oh you're British then.
c) errr...yeah
I know this is a single view, and I cannot generalise, but it worries me that if I am considered second rate by the black community, then where can I rest safe?
Daily encounters shape our experiences and even our way of thinking. For the first time in my life, race is becoming increasingly important to me. Some could even argue that I am making it an issue; one bigger than it needs be. But, to me, I've never had the chance to discuss it - I have always accepted life as it comes - Occasionally, with negative remarks. Now, I believe it's become important to me because everywhere I look: in the news, at university, at work - it is subtly being brought to my attention that I am different, and that is what causes me to worry about who I am.
More stop and search for young black youths, non white students are potentially eligible for a 'journalism and diversity' bursary when doing the M.A. course (because oh look - it reflects badly on an institution if there isn't proportional representation of this multicultural society we call home) and in my part time job, I had to reassure a woman that I was in education and I did have prospects and ambition.
One of my white girl-friends recently got married to a black South African in the summer, but I was informed that her parents held the view that "inter-racial marriages don't work." I don't understand where this view could come from - they know who I am, and know that my parents are happily married together, after 25 years.
Laura Smith's report in the Society Guardian (26.09.07) draws on data from the 2001 census, to note that more than half of mixed race families are together (55%) , contrasting to popular assumption - perhaps reinforced by Little Britain stereotypes.
I agree with the researchers of this study - (Rosalind Edwards, a professor in social policy at South Bank University, and Chamion Caballero) that opposition to mix race families are not internal, but it is: "people outside that tend to have an issue with it...once a child starts school or comes into contact with the community, people's attitudes can be negative."
It was a decade after leaving my primary school that I was told by my mother, that the school bully complained that I was there - even inviting their parents to a school meeting with the head mistress. I forgot to mention that I was brought up in the 'whitest county', Devon.
I'm not sure about you, but in my family, I was brought up to believe that I was no different to anyone else - you look at someone and you see a person, a living, breathing personality. I was brought up not to judge on the factor of skin colour. With this strong belief, I am disappointed to say that I don't think I was educated enough about my beautiful heritage. I do not know all my facts and where I come from.
This contributes to my next point, raised by Smith, in that with one white parent, mixed race people can often question their authenticity of being black. My doubts of who I am continue to this very day. I remember at Freshers' Fayre, I saw the African Caribbean Society stand, and was so confused as to whether they had a membership criteria, I questioned whether I was black enough to join. Needless to say I did, coupled with the high of October's Black History Month, but I later slipped by the wayside, when a guest speaker a room full of black people and me, that black people should only be with black people for purity's sake, and anything other than that was simply subordinate.
This spurred the beginning of my mid life identity crisis, which shall no doubt continue, with other tales including - a conversation between my black flatmate (a) our new black friend (b) and myself (c):
b) [to (a)] where do you come from then?
a)I have Bejan roots
b) oh. OK. and you? [to (c)]
c) my dad is Jamaican and my mum is from Devon
b) Oh you're British then.
c) errr...yeah
I know this is a single view, and I cannot generalise, but it worries me that if I am considered second rate by the black community, then where can I rest safe?
Labels: Laura Smith, mixed race, society guardian
posted by hoops @ 3:08 PM
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